Recapitulation
In our last several studies, we have been looking at
greatness in the Kingdom of Heaven. The
one common theme has been humility—like a child and like Jesus
Himself—exercised with our fellow believers.
First, there was humility in our care to not cause a brother or sister
to fall into temptation. Second, there
was humility in our searching for straying believers. Third, there was humility in our
relationships with straying believers who are difficult to reconcile with. Fourth there was humility in our continual
willingness to forgive a straying believer.
All these examples of humility are rooted and grounded in the fact that
our Savior has also exercised great humility and forgiveness toward us.
Greatness of Humility in Marriage
Now, in chapter 19,
just as Jesus’ geographical location has changed from Galilee to Perea (Judea
beyond Jordan) and closer to Jerusalem where He will die, the same theme of
humility in our relationships with fellow believers continues. This time the specific example is in marriage. Greatness in God’s kingdom also involves humility
in our marriage relationships.
What About Divorce?
Concerns about divorce came up once before in chapter 5 in
the Sermon on the Mount where Jesus was emphasizing the need to repent and
actually follow God’s commandments. But now at this time the Pharisees are
asking the question in order to get Jesus in trouble. The setting is in Perea (meaning ‘beyond’),
that is, the area known as “beyond Jordan but belonging to Judea.” Jesus has left Galilee and is on His way to
Jerusalem and, like most Jews, He skirts Samaria by crossing the Jordan from
Galilee and travels southward to the fords of Jordan where He will cross Jordan
again into Judea. Our pericope takes
place in Perea on the other side of the Jordan but considered part of Herod’s
domains.
As He traveled through Perea there were large crowds of
people following Him. Matthew says “He
healed them there.” Mark 10 adds “He
taught them.” While thus engaged, the
Pharisees had some trick questions designed to force Jesus to lose the
adulation of the crowds or to get in trouble with Herod like John the Baptist
had done.
Two Extreme Views
The question was “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any
cause?” Now there were two leading
schools of thought on this: the
followers of Rabbi Hillel and those of Rabbi Shammai. Shammai was rather a literalist and Hillel
was a liberal. Most people tended to
follow one or the other. Now Hillel
taught that a man could divorce his wife for any reason at all. He was the father of the no-fault
divorce. But Shammai taught that the
only reason for divorce was marital unfaithfulness. So, the Pharisees were attempting to get
Jesus to side with one of the splinter groups and thus dividing his
supporters. Furthermore, they knew He
tended to take the Scriptures at face value like Shammai and like John the
Baptist had done. Herod was living in
open adultery with his brother’s wife, Herodias. The Pharisees hoped that Jesus would do like
John had done and publicly denounce Herod thus sealing His fate as well.
What Does Scripture Say?
But, as always, Jesus refers them back to the
Law—specifically to Genesis 2:24. (By the way, notice that Jesus had no trouble
using the opening chapters of the Bible every bit as much as later ones—unlike
some who have taken to doubting the first 11 chapters’ historicity.) This passage discusses the first marriage in
the Bible—that of Adam and Eve. (Yes,
Jesus believed in a real Adam and Eve.)
Notice that there are several theological notes of considerable
importance that are only briefly mentioned because Matthew is more interested
in what God is doing here.
1) God created them. In the Hebrew where this is quoted the word
for create means to make out of nothing!
2) God made them male and female—two
genders.
3) Marriage is
when one of each of the two genders is joined together by God.
Now back to Matthew’s particular interest. He quotes: “Therefore, a man shall leave his
father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one
flesh. So, they are no longer two, but
one flesh. What therefore God has joined
together, let not man separate.” We must
not separate what God has joined together.
The original design for marriage did not have a plan B.
What About Moses’ Concession?
Okay, this is so far a repeat of what Jesus had taught
earlier. Now here comes the Pharisee’s
follow-on question. “Then why did Moses
command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” They are referring to Deuteronomy
24:1-4. In Moses’ day—indeed for most of
human history—women have been viewed as little more than property. When a man tired of his wife, if he was in a
good mood he could just make her one of the household slaves or if not, he
could just send her out into the world to fend for herself and get himself a
new bride. Sometimes, if he was really
nice he became a polygamist and continued to take care of his first wife. But, Moses was actually tightening the rules
so that a man could not just send his wife away. There had to be some proof of sexual
immorality. The husband had to go to a
scribe and have a document made up stating the charges and the witnesses before
a divorce could be granted. This passage
doesn’t give all the details but all legal matters required witnesses. So, Moses was not simply adding paperwork on
top of this huge injustice—instead he was allowing it but only for
immorality and only if it could be proven.
He certainly wasn’t requiring it.
Adultery
So, that’s why Jesus says that this certificate was a concession—an
allowance— ‘because of the hardness of your heart.’ Because they could have forgiven each
other and been reconciled but they were too hard in their heart toward each
other. In God’s original design, there is no idea of divorce because the two
have become “one flesh.” Then Jesus gave
his own take different from either Hillel or Shammai. “But, I say unto you . . .” “Whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual
immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” The two words we need to understand here are
‘adultery’ and ‘sexual immorality.’
‘Adultery’ (or moicheia in
Greek) refers to marital unfaithfulness.
And when one divorces a spouse and marries another the original bond of
marriage is broken and you can never go back.
Normally, only death can break this bond. But divorcing and marrying another person is
adultery EXCEPT when divorce is carried out as the result of ‘sexual
immorality.’ So, what is this
exception?
Fornication
‘Sexual immorality’ (‘fornication’ in KJV or porneia in Greek) refers to sexual
activity outside of the bonds of marriage—whether the perpetrator(s) are
married or single. It is where we get
our word for pornography. Now remember,
just as in the example of humility in church discipline, the goal here is
restoration not vengeance or shame. So,
we are looking for forgiveness and reconciliation and repentance. But, if the straying partner will not change
and continues to exercise a life of sexual unfaithfulness, the victim has
Jesus’ concession to seek a divorce.
Remember, this is not to be done because you are getting him or her back
for cheating for a brief period—as hurtful as that is. It is done because they are not repentant and
are not interested in seeking your forgiveness.
Remember again, the previous pericope on forgiveness. How many times must we forgive? This is another example of greatness in God’s
kingdom.
Notice that Jesus doesn’t discuss Herod’s marriage. He is talking to those who wish to enter the
kingdom of heaven.
What About Desertion or Abuse?
Later, Paul discusses (in 1 Corinthians 7) the issue of an
unbelieving spouse who decides to divorce you.
So, between Jesus and Paul only two grounds for divorce are discussed in
the Bible: desertion by an unbelieving spouse and unrepentant sexual
unfaithfulness.
Some may ask about abuse—whether verbal, emotional, or
physical. No one should be forced to
stay in an environment where this sort of activity is going on. This is where space and family counseling is
important. It may require a separation
for your own protection like the unrepentant believer undergoing church
discipline. But again, the goal is repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation
out of a heart of humility. The book of
Hosea well illustrates this theme both in the spiritual as well as the marital
realm.
Difficulties in both Marriage and Singleness
The disciples’ response reveals not only their growing
understanding of God’s design for marriage but also the sheer audacity to think
that anyone can live faithfully like this in their own strength. “It is better not to marry,” they said. So, Jesus gave a subtle but humorous reminder
that controlling biological urges is even more difficult. Singleness has its own difficulties.
God has designed two possible states for adults: marriage
between a man and a woman OR celibate singleness. They both have their issues but marriage is
the original designed intention of God, though Jesus concedes that God does
call a few to a life of singleness on behalf of the kingdom. In such cases, singleness is NOT second best.
When Hard Hearts Prevail
So, Matthew is using this pericope to illustrate the
ministry of humility within the marriage relationship just as he did with
relationships in the church community.
Divorce is the result of a failure in this ministry of humility.
© 2018 Eric Thimell
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